Dick is putting together the mother of all joke sites!

Everybody gets a million of ‘em daily in their e-mail, but frankly, some of them are pretty crummy. Dick doesn’t know much…but he knows funny. So send your favorite, tasteless jokes today, and you’ll get credit for it right here on the site. Then, you can brag to your friends about how cool you think you are and you’ll have the (questionable) proof to back it up!

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A woman was walking through the woods when she came across a leprechaun caught in a trap. The leprechaun said, "If you release me, I will grant you three wishes."

The woman freed the leprechaun who said, "Thank you. You now have three wishes. And whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more."

The woman said, "I want to be the most beautiful woman in the world."

The Leprechaun warned her, "Your husband will be the most handsome man in the world. Women will flock to him."

The woman replied, "That's ok. I trust my husband."

So, poof!--she became the most beautiful woman in the world. For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The leprechaun said, "That will make your husband 10 times richer than you."

The woman said, "That's ok. We'll share our money."

So, poof!--she became the richest woman in the world. The leprechaun then inquired about her third wish. She answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."

Added By : Josh C

This guy and girl have been dating for a while and the guy is starting to get frustrated because they have not had sex yet.
She calls him one afternoon and tells him that they are going to have dinner with her parents. And if he does this she will have sex with him.
The guy hangs up the phone and runs to the pharmacy to buy a whole bunch of condoms. He goes up to the Pharmicist and says, "My girlfriend said if I put up with her lame family we could finally have sex. So, as you can see I am buying a lot of condoms because it's going to be a late night." The Pharmicist rings up his stuff and hands him the bag.
Later that night, they arrive at the girl's parents' house and they sit down to dinner. Her father asks him to say grace.
After a 7 minute prayer, his girlfiend leans over and says, "I didn't know you were so spiritual." He leans over and says "I didn't know your dad was a Pharmicist."

Added By : mental_dental

3 NUNS AT A DETROIT HOCKEY GAME -


SITTING BEHIND THREE NUNS AT A DETROIT RED WING HOCKEY GAME (WHOSE HABITS PARTIALLY BLOCKED THEIR VIEW), THREE MEN DECIDED TO BADGER THE NUNS IN AN EFFORT TO GET THEM TO MOVE.


IN A VERY LOUD VOICE, THE FIRST GUY SAID, 'I THINK I'M GOING TO MOVE TO UTAH , THERE ARE ONLY 100 NUNS LIVING THERE.'


THE SECOND GUY SPOKE UP AND SAID, 'I WANT TO GO TO MONTANA , THERE ARE ONLY 5O NUNS LIVING THERE.'


THE THIRD GUY SAID, 'I WANT TO GO TO IDAHO, THERE ARE ONLY 25 NUNS LIVING THERE.'


ONE OF THE NUNS TURNED AROUND, LOOKED AT THE MEN, AND IN A VERY SWEET, CALM VOICE SAID, 'WHY DON'T YOU GO TO HELL THERE AREN'T ANY NUNS THERE.'

Added By : Christine

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?'

She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'

Added By : -Libby Lou

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!'

The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'

The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!'

The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. 'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the Russian.

To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!'

Added By : -Libby Lou

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'

Added By : -Libby Lou

A man one night leaves a bar, drunk as ever.
As he stumbles through the parking lot, he sees a nun walking along side the sidewalk.
He run over to her and just starts beating the hell out of her.
As she lays there, bloody and crying, he stands over her and says, "Not so tough tonight, are you Batman?"

Added By : Mike Starr

Yer mama is so stupid that she spent all day looking at a bottle of Orange Juice because it said "Concentrate".

Added By : Dj222

Guy walks into a doctor's office and tells the receptionist, "Help me, I think I'm invisible!"
The receptionist rushes into the doctor's office and tells him, "Doctor, there is a man here who thinks he's invisible."
The doctor replies, "Tell him I can't see him."

Added By : Booger picker

One day God came down to Adam in the Garden of Eden. He was sitting there looking lonely. So, God figured what Adam needed was a partner, a lifemate, somone to be his significant other, a companion. So, God says to Adam,"I can create you a perfect companion, a person to converse with, bond with, intertwine your deepest feelings and emotions with." Adam in turns says to God,"A perfect companion and mate would be the perfect compliment to myself and the Garden of Eden, but what will this cost me?" and God replies,"An arm and a leg." Adam, mulls this over for a few minutes, and then says?"What can I get for a rib."

Added By : Simma

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